Yikes!

After 3 years of silence, I finally called my wife. At first, I tried to get my co-workers to call for me pretending to be insurance agents trying to confirm my marital status for some cheaper rate kinda deal, she didn't answer any of their calls. Apparently, she doesn't answer calls with blocked numbers. I guess I'm just so nosy that I want to know. Well, out of curiosity, I called her myself thinking she wouldn't answer the phone. Ofcourse, someone did. And it was a guy!?

GUY: Hello?
Me: (must be her dad) May I speak with _______?
GUY: Yeah, hold on.
Wife: Hello?
Me: _______?
Wife: Yes, who's this?
Me: Your HUSBAND!
Wife: OMG! Hey ___(GUY'S name) it's my husband! (then you hear baby crying)
Me: Who was that?
Wife: My BOYFRIEND and now you hear our 15 month old (THEIR) son.
Me: So you really want a divorce now, huh?


And so it goes. Blah, blah, blah...Fill in the blanks. Then it was decided that sometime next year (maybe March), I will be flying to Chicago to finalize our divorce. I should have known this would happen. I mean she did tell me last time we talked that she had a thing for giving head. I'm like HELLO! She is not a die hard lesbian after all.