Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Beware: Driver Cumming!

Having sex in a car sounds so wild and taboo. And I have to admit that I have done the deed three times. Twice while parked (Yeah, I know I was such a tramp!) and once while the car was moving. Now, that time when the vehicle was moving, my cohort and I were sitting in the back seat while his friend was driving (Yeah, I know I WAS such a tramp!).

It is such a thrill but I draw the line somewhere. For instance, I would never let anyone touch nor suck me while I am behind the wheel. No! That it just asking for trouble. Still some people do it. And I've seen my share of evidence while driving down in L.A.

And never alone.

I came to find out (from the person's own mouth) that someone I know has recently used vibrating toys while driving. It's a female. Goodness know what this female was thinking. Apparently, she started off on the lowest setting and thought, hmmm this doesn't feel bad. Getting giddier by the vibrating second, ends up turning it all the way to the highest setting. Bad kitty! Realizes her mistake when nearing her orgasm, looked for the controller. Could...Not...Find...It. Then panic took over but she managed to snatch (lol) the cord from underneath, pulling the toy out. Her body was shaking so much that it took most of her strength just to keep the car on the road.

The other drivers must have thought that she was having seizures. Lucky for them for not knowing exactly why.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

The One that THANKFULLY Got Away

Kissing A Fool

I was going through my pictures and stumbled upon this one. It brought back fun and some dismaying memories. I still like the pic though. I think it was taken on my best friend's (Anonymous) birthday (2 years ago). Cute guy. Name starts with N-I-C-K. He's a nice guy. I was smitten. I think he liked me. As well as three other guys (I later found out). I was probably at the bottom (don't even start) of the list. Besides, I doubt that it would have worked. Too horny and he plucks his eyebrows. Last time I heard, he moved to Sacramento. Yet still, frequents a local karaoke bar. I wonder if he finally settled down. Nah!

My fondest memory of him: Used to work part time at an ice cream parlor, so he would sometimes smell like an empty ice cream quart, I would then kiss his neck.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

@ 2AM

drunk norm pencil

At 2am my cell starts ringing, and guess what? My drunk best friend calls me and has the balls to ask why I answered? Ummm...

The first thing that I asked was, "What did you do?" Nothing, was his reply. Uh huh. Says he misses me. Reasonable, since we haven't seen each other for a week. I mean, I swear dude, we're still friends. : ) Just because we haven't seen each other that much, it doesn't mean that our friendship has fallen down the wayside. LOL It was funny though. I haven't heard him this drunk in...ok never mind.

Oh, by the way, if you haven't already guessed, that's him (well a drawing of him anyway).

That's what you get for calling me that early in the morning.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Tee Hee

Today, My friend Flea and myself were determining what we should get as a gag gift (maybe more) for our friend Jodi's birthday. We decided on a dildo. While walking to the local sex shop, somehow we ended up talking about butt plugs. Then 'lo and behold, I farted hella loud. We almost fell laughing in the middle of the street. Go figure.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Another day

It was Thursday. Supposedly my day off but ended up working for 4 hours overtime. No big deal. I wanted to show off the t-shirt I got from the Duran Duran Concert the previous night (Wednesday! That's another story!) anyway. It also gave me the chance of scoping out this new temp we have that happens to be "gay" and only works during my days off. I wasn't impressed. LOL I may sound bitchy but it is my territory! All of a sudden, I'm acting like the aloof asshole that thinks he owns the whole pharmacy. I turned to something I hated! I felt sorry afterwards and started acknowledging his presence with a smile or two. I just hope he didn't think I want his little turds (Now off to a tangent here but what can be the equivalent of a heterosexual woman saying "I want to have your babies" to a heterosexual man for a us gay men? This was the closest that I could think of without being too graphic.) I was just being civil.

After work, I had the sudden urge to get a movie. Besides, I needed to buy some razors. So off I went to Wally world (Walmart). Not too crowded. I found myself infront of their dvd selections (if you can call it that) and search for something that was newly released. NADA! Well, except for Spongebob the Movie. I grabbed that and October Sky (mmm...Jake Gyllenhaal). Went and got my razors (the new gillette ones, the vibrating kind). As I was walking on my way to the registers, I thought, "What the heck." and snagged a box of condoms.

Yeah, condoms. Ultra Sensitive. It says that it will feel like you weren't wearing one at all. Why? I don't know. It's not like I have a boyfriend or a fuck buddy. But to voice out my inner Ally McBeal, it's my lottery ticket. What if? The purchasing of the prophyllactic doesn't signify that I'm about to have sex with anyone anytime soon. Rather it suggests that I am very much ready. Yeah, I know I'm full of crap sometimes. So I bought my first box of condoms in over 4 years. After all, what if?

While paying, my cashier was giving me the eye and was talking to one of his colleagues (an old Latina woman) something in Spanish while holding up SpongeBob and the box of condoms a little longer than usual and towards her way. Weird but I didn't think much of it since I was looking for my debit card. I should have not taken French.

Not until I was but a few feet from my car did I recall the news blitz concerning the recent brouhaha by a christian/right wing /nutjob's epiphany regarding the pineapple dweller's sexuality. And then the condoms. The Fucking Condoms! Ha! Oh, well.