Almost There

It never occured to me that my last break up would be such an issue. I did like the guy but things weren't just meant to be. I was somewhat relieved that I once again single. I guess if one was single for such a long time (5 years), one just get accustomed to the fact. So, I wasn't really devastated when we broke up.

That is until one November day, stepping on a scale did I find out that I weighed 205 lbs! What the fuck? How in the heck did I get that big? I was afraid of going to Monterey Aquarium to see Shamu for fear of being mistaken as one of its prey. Ugh! First time that I ever broke 200. Holy shit! After carefully examining what I was doing before the weigh in, I realize that my eating habits turned for the worse around the time Robert and I broke up. An ice cream here and there. An extra trip to the buffet line. An extra serving of chow mein...You get the drift.

I guess, it did have an impact. It didn't help that he found a replacement less than two weeks. I was just such in denial that my mind comforted itself by eating. It was profound. I was such an idiot and too full of pride to admit that it didn't bother me.

By late November, early December, I went on a diet. And I tell you, that was such a stupid idea. Why would anybody start a diet right when the holidays are in full swing? Don't ask me. But I was determined. I lost a few pounds. Not much but it was enough to give me a boost.

A week after my 30th birthday, I enrolled myself to the gym. Prepaid 3 years of membership with 24hour Fitness. Yeah, 3 years! I want to make sure that I make myself feel guilty spending that much. My motivation.

Since then (counting my weight in November) I have lost 30 pounds. Shocking to me. I am back to weighing 175! Patting myself on my back. Friends and co-workers (old and new) have noticed. Thank goodness, because I will beat them to death if they didn't say anything. I do feel good and look so much better.

But I'm not done yet. My goal is to go back to 160-163. My weight right before leaving the Military. I can't wait! I'm already wearing size 32 pants.

I See You Toners...

Could it be? In his page he states that he's not with "Him" anymore. I'm not going to lie, I'm so happy for Toners. Is this finally IT? Has he cut the cord permanently? It does look like the real thing. He's already looking so much better than when I last saw him. Handsome as ever. I am quite sure he's going to find someone more worthy of his love. I wish him the best. Truly.

Although, I felt bad upon reading his blog to find out that he's been in the hospital. If I had known, I would have been there. Forget that I said I was not going to ever talk to him unless he's sober. I'm just glad that he's healthier. After reading the first few paragraphs, it gave me quite a scare. I'm such a dumbass. I'm sorry.

Toners, you're on the right track. Just keep in mind that all (AND I DO MEAN ALL) of your friends, even the ones that you think have given up on you, will be there IF EVER YOU CALL.