Almost There

It never occured to me that my last break up would be such an issue. I did like the guy but things weren't just meant to be. I was somewhat relieved that I once again single. I guess if one was single for such a long time (5 years), one just get accustomed to the fact. So, I wasn't really devastated when we broke up.

That is until one November day, stepping on a scale did I find out that I weighed 205 lbs! What the fuck? How in the heck did I get that big? I was afraid of going to Monterey Aquarium to see Shamu for fear of being mistaken as one of its prey. Ugh! First time that I ever broke 200. Holy shit! After carefully examining what I was doing before the weigh in, I realize that my eating habits turned for the worse around the time Robert and I broke up. An ice cream here and there. An extra trip to the buffet line. An extra serving of chow mein...You get the drift.

I guess, it did have an impact. It didn't help that he found a replacement less than two weeks. I was just such in denial that my mind comforted itself by eating. It was profound. I was such an idiot and too full of pride to admit that it didn't bother me.

By late November, early December, I went on a diet. And I tell you, that was such a stupid idea. Why would anybody start a diet right when the holidays are in full swing? Don't ask me. But I was determined. I lost a few pounds. Not much but it was enough to give me a boost.

A week after my 30th birthday, I enrolled myself to the gym. Prepaid 3 years of membership with 24hour Fitness. Yeah, 3 years! I want to make sure that I make myself feel guilty spending that much. My motivation.

Since then (counting my weight in November) I have lost 30 pounds. Shocking to me. I am back to weighing 175! Patting myself on my back. Friends and co-workers (old and new) have noticed. Thank goodness, because I will beat them to death if they didn't say anything. I do feel good and look so much better.

But I'm not done yet. My goal is to go back to 160-163. My weight right before leaving the Military. I can't wait! I'm already wearing size 32 pants.