Poo Shy's Dilemma
I've written about one of my co-workers. You know, the one who has trouble taking a dump with someone around, hence the name Poo Shy. She has recently discovered the joys of coffee enemas. Say what?! Yes, you read it right, COFFEE ENEMAS! It's supposed to help you detoxify, give you a boost of energy, and etc. Why not? I mean if something were up my ass for 10-15 minutes at a time, I would feel energized and giddy the day/moment after. Hopefully, that would be the only similarity. The process of discharging that amount of coffee liquid sounds very uncomfortable. I can only compare it to having a case of very very bad diarrhea.
Which leads me to Poo Shy. She decided to try it out. Besides, no one would know. (Except for me and all my joyful readers) She went and checked if she had all the necessary supplies:
- Lube (for ease of insertion)
- Water (distilled)
- Coffee (has to be ground, not instant nor decaffeinated. not sure if the flavor matters)
- Filters (for obvious reasons)
- Enema (a bag with a tube where you put the tepid water and then insert into anus)
Unfortunately, she was out of enemas. She waited for days before she could get the nerve to buy one. Who would dare? I'm sure people who were in dire need of an enema for health reasons have no problem buying one. But she was embarrassed of what the cashier might think when she hands him/her the enema. It's kind of stupid really. What else would you need an enema for? Beer bong? She thought, "Fuck them! They can all stick it up their asses!"
She goes into Super Walmart. Having found some courage, yet not quite, she decided to grab a few things before getting the enema. (Maybe to throw off the cashier?) 'Lo and behold, Super Walmart has a self-check out lane! And Poo shy seizes the opportunity and began ringing herself of her purchases:
- Scented Candle (smells like...)
- Magazine (Brad and Jen breakup!)
- Fleets Enema (giddy with just the thought)
- Pretty Woman (AGE VERIFICATION REQUIRED. PLEASE HOLD)
As you can imagine, it wasn't her lucky night after all. The cashier (a guy, not sure if he's cute since she didn't even mention it) immediately stated that kids think they can get away buying things normally adults can buy and asked her what was that she was buying. She feebishly pointed out that, "Maybe because this movie (Pretty Woman) is Rated R?" In the meanwhile the cashier was checking out her inventory and on the screen with big green bold letters were :
ENEMA, FLEETS $2.99
I can only imagine what the guy was thinking while my friend was clumsily perusing her purse for her darn driver's license. By the time she finished paying, she was so embarrassed, she left the store with her tail between her legs.