Am I that Jaded?

Lately, I have been glancing at pictures of men kissing. While they are great to look at...ok, fine! Fuckingly awesome to look at, I come to realize that all of those pics only gave me a sense of sexuality. To me, every single one of them (and I saw plenty), was more about the sex. It was titillating. It gave me a woodie.

But to my disbelief, I couldn't help but think, "Is that it? Are we all about sex?" Then I realized that OMFG! I have yet to see a picture of two men kissing where the first thing that enters my mind would be of L-O-V-E. Nothing! Nada! Not even when I see pictures of nuptuals/civil ceremonies. They are all for show, lust, sterile, or gay4pay. Cynical? I am flabbergasted. Could it be that I'm still hurting? Nah. It's just how I see things. Could it be true that what society sees of us is really our truth? That we are nothing but sexual...One would hope not.

Don't get me wrong, I believe that a man2man kiss can exude LOVE. I have felt/experienced it. It's one of those "It's-all-me-and-him-and-nothing-else-in-the-world-matters-only-we-exist-spinning-melding-huh-what-just-happened" kind. So I know it is possible.

It just bothers me that I have not seen one.

Big Whoop!

Before anything else, yes I got laid...

HIGHLIGHTS:

• Found out that turbulence still scare the shit out of me. Note to self: get Rx for Xanax!
• Taipei Airport has free wifi internet! Thank You!
• Ninoy Aquino International Airport smelled like a FISH Market! WTF?!
• Filipino Drivers are CRAZY! Note to self: ask to increase dose of Xanax!
• It's freaking Hot.
• Thank goodness for AC!
• After shower sweating is so overrated.
• Brother's Wedding went without a hitch.
• My wedding speech sucked ass!
• I have tons and tons of relatives!
• You will always have a relative(s) that just can't shut the fuck up. But I still love them.
• Every 2 days I travelled.
• First to Baguio. Wow, it has changed.
• Seeing old classmates is very intimidating. Never did found the balls to go up to him.
• Straight Uncles took me to a Strip Club. Both Female and Male! LOL
• SM Baguio has Starbucks!
• 10 pesos for a penis key chain. Bought 20.
• Next to Binmaley, Pangasinan.
• Uncle's house is enormous!
• Visited the graves of my paternal grandparents' and tita Del.
• Ate goat and snails.
• Found out my niece is a Lesbian!
  
• Went to observe my uncle @ his place of work. He's a judge.
• Official Language of the Philippine Court System? English.
• Sat 5-7 feet away from 3 guys that were handcuffed together. All 3 being tried for murder. All 3 were smiling. The guards have the habbit of walking out of the courtroom.
• Listening to the prosecutor gave me a headache. What did he say again?
• Then back to Manila.
• Went to a gay bar.
• To Filipinos, a gay bar meant 'strip joint'.
• Full frontal? yeah ummm.
• Watch out for your beer before he dips...never mind.
• Went to a comedy bar. Which comprised of effeminate gay men making a fool out of themselves. Surprisingly, was very entertaining.
• Was hit on by a straight guy. I know, I was weirded out.
  
• Fell in Lust.
  
• Will definitely go back.
• Soon.
• One perk of going back to visit: finding old pics!

me and nana gunyang


me and joe


tita del and i


mom and i 1


mom and i 2


mama's boy


me and joe 1


me and joe 2


stranger, tita pres, tita ced, me


ate vernie, me, lenlen, donna, joe


joe and dad


mom

Been Back...

but have been too busy @ work and sick to post hardly anything. also had to weed through hundreds of photos, which i tell ya, is very tedious if you ask me. but i do have things to say...you'll just have to wait.

one thing's for sure...i got my mojo back, and part of my self confidence.

Finally!

Good lord, it took forever to finally have a time to myself, look for a wifi hotspot, then look for a prepaid wireless card, check email, and blog. Wedding went great thanks to the organizational skills of Jingle (my sister-in-law's sister). The only thing that didn't go as planned was that the priest got sick, so the wedding didn't start until much later when the replacement arrived. And my speech was a disaster. I don't want to even think about it. The worst thing is that it was all caught on tape. Oh well, it's not the first time that I embarrassed myself.

Current Keywords for My Blog

For now, I have no comments...

Taipei!

Just arrived Taipei a few minutes ago. First impression, never have a perfume/cologne counter meet new arrivals or they would think that Taipei smells like a very expensive whore who loves to dowse herself with parfum. Yech!

One thing I give them credit for is their "ezone". It's free! I like it even better than the T-Mobile hotspot.

Next stop...Manila!!!

I LOVE TMobile Hotspot!!!!

Ok, I'm @ SFO and I'm blogging. Good lord, the technology today! I can't believe I'm online. So...ummm. Anyway, there was this crazy white guy that was ahead of me that could talk a hind leg off a horse. Why do I always find the crazy people? They're drawn to me, I tell ya, like a moth to a flame. (Insert joke about 'Flamers'. Ha ha funny! Fuck YOU : P )

Drive was awesome. Stopped raining midway. Gorgeous sunset overlooking the mountains (or maybe hills) / Altamount (sp?) Pass. Checking in was another story. It sucked ass. Took me 2 hours to go through, it wouldn't have been half as bad but Yapper had to be infront of me. I thought he was on crank at first but further looking at him, made me just realize that he's just plain annoying. Maybe a nice guy, but he's such a bigot/racist. You should have heard him talk about some Pakistani in line. He talked about how one time, he had to change seats because one of them Paki's (his words) STANK LIKE A MUTHA! Could you tone it down a bit, I think they might have heard him. Great. I can't wait to board the plane.

Next stop, Taipei!

Here we go

Ok I'm off to San Fran International Airport. It's raining cat's and dogs here. I'm a freaking mess. I look like a wet dog. Great way to start huh? Anyway, first I'm going to lunch with Norm. Ok, hopefully there's a way for me to blog even post pics...what the heck am I saying? Of course, there would be. Duh!

Crossing my fingers.

I Can't Sleep

It's only 21 hours before my flight heading for Manila, Philippines and I'm wide awake. I didn't drink anything that had caffeine. Am I really that excited? Ok, it's been more than 14 years since I was there. A long time have I not seen my relatives and friends. Friends who I only talk to every now and then. Relatives 14 years older than I last saw them. New relatives that have been born to this world whom I have yet to meet. 14 years since I have been to the Nation that I called home. A Country, despite it's many downs than ups, still holds a special place to my heart.

HECK YEAH I'M EXCITED! And nervous at the same time

This Is Nice

Dog gone it. That means I have to get out of the house today to see if this shit is true!

I hate doing this...

I do! Friggin' New Year's Resolutions! Argh! Each year I tell myself I'm going to go through it all. That I'm going to stick with them this time. I should just not make a list on what I should be doing this following year. But I do it anyway. It's my kinky side, I'm a sucker for disappointments.

1. Eat less rice. (this will be tough)
2. Go to the gym. (I'm tearing up with laughter already)
3. Start running again. (have to buy new running shoes. yippee!)
4. Open myself up with the idea of dating again. (Note: don't lower your standards)
5. Spend less, save more money. (although am allowed to shop when there is a sale)
6. Stop being attracted to men who are assholes, in the closet, bitchier than me, liars, cheaters, recently single, "not quite" divorced yet, guys who love fisting (I just can't), emotional fuckwits (thank you Bridget Jones), narcissistic make that less narcissistic, and druggies.
7. Make time to walk MC to the park. (i'm sorry MC)
8. Drink less beer.
9. Stop buying porn! (ummm no comment)
10. Write more often. (ie emails, poetry, letters, etc.)
11. Soak feet at the end of the day. (you should see them!)
12. Get contacts.
13. Call Tony to say I'm sorry. (long story)
14. Call Aaron to say I'm sorry. (longer story)
15. Go to Mexico with Jodi.
16. Read more books than last year.
17. Keep pinky swear with Dove'x.
18. Take more pictures.
19. Travel more.
20. And Blog more often. (we'll see how this one goes)

So far that is it. Looks short but there are a lot of tough ones. Hopefully, I will follow through. If not...oh well...there is Next Year.