Right after calling my friends to greet them a happy new year, my cell rang. A local number that I've never seen before. Weird. Well, I answered the phone and it went like this:
ME: Who's this?
STRANGER: Hey!
ME: Who IS this?
STRANGER: Happy New Year!
ME: ...oooOOO(Wow, it's a guy!)
STRANGER: It's me, ___! (also known as DFPBB) (I wrote about him a few months ago. You can read it here.)
ME: What the fuck are you calling me you fucking asshole? (I was shocked I didn't know what to say!)
DFPBB (formerly known as STRANGER): I'm just calling you to say, "Happy New Year!"
ME: Are you fucking teasing me? You freaking ass!
DFPBB: No! I just wanted to greet you!
ME: ...oooOOO(Good lord, he's drunk!)
ME: Oh! Did ____(DFPBB's best friend, my co-worker) put you up to this?
DFPBB: No!
ME: Ummm...Ok. Happy New Year to you too asshole! Actually, you just made my year!
DFPBB: Awww.
ME: Thank You! Ass!
DFPBB: Ok, I gotta go.
ME: OK, thanks!
Immediately afterwards, I called my co-worker and asked if he put DFPBB up to it. And to my joy, he said no. DFPBB had asked him for my number. Yeah right! By the sound of them both, they're drunk and thought it would be fun to get me all excited. Ha! DFPBB had it coming!
Text Messages that followed:
ME: Fucking cockteaser! :-O
DFPBB: Whatever! :-)
ME: LOL
ME: U know I don't use my teeth. Unless u want me 2.
DFPBB: Haha. That's just wrong. :-)
ME: Umm Sorry coz I have all of my teeth, Dog Faced Poo Butt Bitch (DFPBB)! :-* {This text was in reference to the lady that he had in the back seat of his car, that gave him a bj}
ME: So, what's this I hear that now u want me 2 toss? IM game! I can multi-task. Im great with my tongue!
DFPBB: Haha...You're a trip jake.
ME: Aww...U make my brown star twinkle! (_*_)
ME: IM a trip? Wait 'till I ride on U! HA HA!
So far, that's it. I had to give him some time to process. Who's fucking who now? Gosh, I just hope he takes the bite! LOL. A lovely start for the year indeed!
