The Case of the Ripper

I just got off from work and I decided to finally read the recent Instinct magazine, September 2004 issue, which I bought last Saturday. I couldn't wait to peruse it's contents. It looked very promising. On the cover was the sexy Adrian Armas, scene stealing actor of Showboy. Another bonus was that of Antonio Sabato, Jr's pictorial. Very promising indeed.

Checklist:

• Beverage--Iced tea (no sugar)
• Snack--Cashew nuts
• CD--Songbird by Eva Cassidy
• Lighting--Bedside lamp
• Attire--Cotton PJ (just the bottom and no undies)
• Misc--Lube and Tissue (just in case)

And I was ready to go!

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Someone, actually, some BITCH tore off the pages 57-70! And kidnapped my Antonio pictures! Unbelievable! Why couldn't they just had pilfered the whole damn magazine! Why damage a perfectly good magazine knowing someone will be stupid enough not to browse through the magazine making sure all of the pages were intact? And to know that I was that stupid person!

My night is ruined! Adrian is cute and all but he's no Antonio. Besides, Adrian's freaky hairy nipples distract me from fantasizing about how he would feel on top of me. Spiders crawling on my chest comes to mind!

I HATE SPIDERS! ! ! !

Now I have no excuse but to read the articles!