For The Second Time!

I'M GOING TO BE AN UNCLE!

The Falling Out

I just had a big fight with one of my best friends today. And I am very ticked off! I love and think highly of her. But the way she acts towards a certain guy bugs the hell out of me. She can't see how he mistreats her, practically cheats on her. The fact that she confronted the girl (one of them) blaming her for her act but still talking and "hanging out" with the guy hoping that he would change is BULLSHIT! What the fuck! Raw Sugar (that's her name if she ever wants to be a pornstart, mine's Hoover) take off that blindfold! Seriously, you're hurting yourself!

But that's not why we had a fight.

We're planning to go on a rafting trip this Saturday. She's such a take charge person that she's taking care of the details. Gotta love her for that. She informs me of what needs to be done, the fees, who are going, practically the whole itinerary. She then informs me that person X (an ex that has become one of our friends) would be going without his girlfriend (who is also our friend) and asks me if I could give him a ride to the rafting place. That's fine but her reason was that person X would definitely 'cling' to her, upsetting mr. cheater. Mr. cheater, who in the past stated how he hated hanging out with her friends! Us! Why in the hell is he going in the first place since he would be surrounded by her friends!

I blew up. I said, "Fuck Mr. cheater! I'm fucking sick and tired of you always thinking about him first. Bye!" Then I hung up.

WTF! WTF! WTF EVER!

Would someone tell me how one could cling to a person who constantly cheats on them, make them feel like shit, not get along well with their friends, and lie to them? I don't care if he has any good points. The bad definitely outweighs the good. If there are any.

She tried calling me back at work. Told them to tell her that I was busy and that I would call her back. Left a message on my voicemail telling me that she took care of it and to not bother calling me back tonight, with an acid tongue. So I decided not to go. After talking to a few friends that were going, we (believe me, I didn't force them one bit) decided to go with my co-workers who were going to a different rafting venue. Then I texted her stating that I and 6 others would not be joining them leaving out the detail that we're going somewhere else.

Am I bitter? Fuck yeah! To me, she would rather be with him and forget about us. I love her and will be with her during hard times but not this one. It is the last straw.

Did you hear...

About the guy who contracted an STD from his blow-up doll? Apparently, the doll was cheating on him.

--I know totally gross. Who would use someone else's toy?

Oh what the heck...The Dreaded List

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Bothersome Detail

-->Going commando from time to time is fun. Make sure you wear button fly jeans. Yeah, zippers are a bitch!

I'm disturbed. As most (ok all!) of my friends know, I haven't "really" dated for almost 5 years. Yeah, I've 'talked' with other guys, but nothing anywhere serious. Every time they bother me by asking why, I just tell them that I haven't found the right guy yet. To my dismay, they just urge me to just get laid. These are my friends that I'm talking about.

It doesn't bother me coz I know I'm not that type of person (ok, anymore!) Lately, I've gotten the itch to start talking to guys again (must be my new tongue ring. ha! still not that type!) and have spoken with a few. Told some friends of this tidbit. Instead of being happy for me, they immediately ask what was wrong with the guy(s).

Huh?

Exactly my sentiment. Not wanting to hear what they meant, I asked anyway. Flea, my house mate, reasoned it as FEAR.

WHAT THE FUCK?

Further explaining that it is my way of protecting myself. Making up excuses why I would think the guy is not good for me or what I don't like about the person before even a big date, therefore I won't have to make an effort to get to know the guy better. My firewall. My fear of getting hurt...Again.

Sadly, I think she nailed this one on the head.

Yikes! Small World!

Ok, I had a great time at Pride this year. Went with friends and became a shutterbug. Took pictures of everything and everyone. Specially guys who I thought were good looking/interesting (that is until my batteries ran out). Posted it online on my flickr.com account so I can share it with everyone/anyone who cared to look. But I wasn't expecting one of my object of desires to find himself posted on my site! HOW EMBARRASSING!

As luck would have it, he happens to just open up an account a few months back. Uh, huh. I know. But it seemed like he was more amused rather than violated. Thank goodness. Anyway, here's to Marco. ;-P

San Francisco Gay Pride 2006

Here are some pics. Enjoy! Click on any of the pics to see the whole set.

Made My Day

Opened up my email today and found an alert from Myspace that someone left me a message...I felt happy. Not that I have finally now have a chance to fulfill my dreams of becoming a call boy. Or that someone wants to pay me to have sex with them. But rather, someone is more pathetic than me. What the fuck was he thinking?

I should be insulted. I'm not. Actually, I feel pity (after laughing so hard) for the guy. WHAT HE FUCK WAS HE THINKING?

Am I wrong to go to his profile and check out his pic (which he has 4 of the same pic posted)? Finding out that he lives on the same city as I do (CREEPY). That he's a year younger than me (the bastard!) To see that he has 15 so-called friends and wonder how much they were paid to do the nasty. Incidentally, all were Latino thugs!

I would have turned a blind eye and help him work with his self-esteem but the fact that he can't spell for shit nor think that I'm straight, leaves me to believe that:

A) He can't read
B) His brain needed some oiling (gears aren't working)
C) Superficial and Perverted
D) Have recently jacked-off while looking at my pics (which is the worst, I mean who would masturbate looking @ me?)

Oh, well...I wish him the best to find that perfect straight/gay call boy to fuck him really good and pay REALLY GOOD MONEY! I just hope he wears a condom.

P.S. Who's sorry now?

TWENTY-NINE

I have reconciled with myself that I am that old, so be it. One more year before the big...3-0! I am actually looking forward to this year. We'll see how it goes.

Am I that Jaded?

Lately, I have been glancing at pictures of men kissing. While they are great to look at...ok, fine! Fuckingly awesome to look at, I come to realize that all of those pics only gave me a sense of sexuality. To me, every single one of them (and I saw plenty), was more about the sex. It was titillating. It gave me a woodie.

But to my disbelief, I couldn't help but think, "Is that it? Are we all about sex?" Then I realized that OMFG! I have yet to see a picture of two men kissing where the first thing that enters my mind would be of L-O-V-E. Nothing! Nada! Not even when I see pictures of nuptuals/civil ceremonies. They are all for show, lust, sterile, or gay4pay. Cynical? I am flabbergasted. Could it be that I'm still hurting? Nah. It's just how I see things. Could it be true that what society sees of us is really our truth? That we are nothing but sexual...One would hope not.

Don't get me wrong, I believe that a man2man kiss can exude LOVE. I have felt/experienced it. It's one of those "It's-all-me-and-him-and-nothing-else-in-the-world-matters-only-we-exist-spinning-melding-huh-what-just-happened" kind. So I know it is possible.

It just bothers me that I have not seen one.

Big Whoop!

Before anything else, yes I got laid...

HIGHLIGHTS:

• Found out that turbulence still scare the shit out of me. Note to self: get Rx for Xanax!
• Taipei Airport has free wifi internet! Thank You!
• Ninoy Aquino International Airport smelled like a FISH Market! WTF?!
• Filipino Drivers are CRAZY! Note to self: ask to increase dose of Xanax!
• It's freaking Hot.
• Thank goodness for AC!
• After shower sweating is so overrated.
• Brother's Wedding went without a hitch.
• My wedding speech sucked ass!
• I have tons and tons of relatives!
• You will always have a relative(s) that just can't shut the fuck up. But I still love them.
• Every 2 days I travelled.
• First to Baguio. Wow, it has changed.
• Seeing old classmates is very intimidating. Never did found the balls to go up to him.
• Straight Uncles took me to a Strip Club. Both Female and Male! LOL
• SM Baguio has Starbucks!
• 10 pesos for a penis key chain. Bought 20.
• Next to Binmaley, Pangasinan.
• Uncle's house is enormous!
• Visited the graves of my paternal grandparents' and tita Del.
• Ate goat and snails.
• Found out my niece is a Lesbian!
  
• Went to observe my uncle @ his place of work. He's a judge.
• Official Language of the Philippine Court System? English.
• Sat 5-7 feet away from 3 guys that were handcuffed together. All 3 being tried for murder. All 3 were smiling. The guards have the habbit of walking out of the courtroom.
• Listening to the prosecutor gave me a headache. What did he say again?
• Then back to Manila.
• Went to a gay bar.
• To Filipinos, a gay bar meant 'strip joint'.
• Full frontal? yeah ummm.
• Watch out for your beer before he dips...never mind.
• Went to a comedy bar. Which comprised of effeminate gay men making a fool out of themselves. Surprisingly, was very entertaining.
• Was hit on by a straight guy. I know, I was weirded out.
  
• Fell in Lust.
  
• Will definitely go back.
• Soon.
• One perk of going back to visit: finding old pics!

me and nana gunyang


me and joe


tita del and i


mom and i 1


mom and i 2


mama's boy


me and joe 1


me and joe 2


stranger, tita pres, tita ced, me


ate vernie, me, lenlen, donna, joe


joe and dad


mom

Been Back...

but have been too busy @ work and sick to post hardly anything. also had to weed through hundreds of photos, which i tell ya, is very tedious if you ask me. but i do have things to say...you'll just have to wait.

one thing's for sure...i got my mojo back, and part of my self confidence.

Finally!

Good lord, it took forever to finally have a time to myself, look for a wifi hotspot, then look for a prepaid wireless card, check email, and blog. Wedding went great thanks to the organizational skills of Jingle (my sister-in-law's sister). The only thing that didn't go as planned was that the priest got sick, so the wedding didn't start until much later when the replacement arrived. And my speech was a disaster. I don't want to even think about it. The worst thing is that it was all caught on tape. Oh well, it's not the first time that I embarrassed myself.

Current Keywords for My Blog

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Taipei!

Just arrived Taipei a few minutes ago. First impression, never have a perfume/cologne counter meet new arrivals or they would think that Taipei smells like a very expensive whore who loves to dowse herself with parfum. Yech!

One thing I give them credit for is their "ezone". It's free! I like it even better than the T-Mobile hotspot.

Next stop...Manila!!!

I LOVE TMobile Hotspot!!!!

Ok, I'm @ SFO and I'm blogging. Good lord, the technology today! I can't believe I'm online. So...ummm. Anyway, there was this crazy white guy that was ahead of me that could talk a hind leg off a horse. Why do I always find the crazy people? They're drawn to me, I tell ya, like a moth to a flame. (Insert joke about 'Flamers'. Ha ha funny! Fuck YOU : P )

Drive was awesome. Stopped raining midway. Gorgeous sunset overlooking the mountains (or maybe hills) / Altamount (sp?) Pass. Checking in was another story. It sucked ass. Took me 2 hours to go through, it wouldn't have been half as bad but Yapper had to be infront of me. I thought he was on crank at first but further looking at him, made me just realize that he's just plain annoying. Maybe a nice guy, but he's such a bigot/racist. You should have heard him talk about some Pakistani in line. He talked about how one time, he had to change seats because one of them Paki's (his words) STANK LIKE A MUTHA! Could you tone it down a bit, I think they might have heard him. Great. I can't wait to board the plane.

Next stop, Taipei!

Here we go

Ok I'm off to San Fran International Airport. It's raining cat's and dogs here. I'm a freaking mess. I look like a wet dog. Great way to start huh? Anyway, first I'm going to lunch with Norm. Ok, hopefully there's a way for me to blog even post pics...what the heck am I saying? Of course, there would be. Duh!

Crossing my fingers.

I Can't Sleep

It's only 21 hours before my flight heading for Manila, Philippines and I'm wide awake. I didn't drink anything that had caffeine. Am I really that excited? Ok, it's been more than 14 years since I was there. A long time have I not seen my relatives and friends. Friends who I only talk to every now and then. Relatives 14 years older than I last saw them. New relatives that have been born to this world whom I have yet to meet. 14 years since I have been to the Nation that I called home. A Country, despite it's many downs than ups, still holds a special place to my heart.

HECK YEAH I'M EXCITED! And nervous at the same time

This Is Nice

Dog gone it. That means I have to get out of the house today to see if this shit is true!

I hate doing this...

I do! Friggin' New Year's Resolutions! Argh! Each year I tell myself I'm going to go through it all. That I'm going to stick with them this time. I should just not make a list on what I should be doing this following year. But I do it anyway. It's my kinky side, I'm a sucker for disappointments.

1. Eat less rice. (this will be tough)
2. Go to the gym. (I'm tearing up with laughter already)
3. Start running again. (have to buy new running shoes. yippee!)
4. Open myself up with the idea of dating again. (Note: don't lower your standards)
5. Spend less, save more money. (although am allowed to shop when there is a sale)
6. Stop being attracted to men who are assholes, in the closet, bitchier than me, liars, cheaters, recently single, "not quite" divorced yet, guys who love fisting (I just can't), emotional fuckwits (thank you Bridget Jones), narcissistic make that less narcissistic, and druggies.
7. Make time to walk MC to the park. (i'm sorry MC)
8. Drink less beer.
9. Stop buying porn! (ummm no comment)
10. Write more often. (ie emails, poetry, letters, etc.)
11. Soak feet at the end of the day. (you should see them!)
12. Get contacts.
13. Call Tony to say I'm sorry. (long story)
14. Call Aaron to say I'm sorry. (longer story)
15. Go to Mexico with Jodi.
16. Read more books than last year.
17. Keep pinky swear with Dove'x.
18. Take more pictures.
19. Travel more.
20. And Blog more often. (we'll see how this one goes)

So far that is it. Looks short but there are a lot of tough ones. Hopefully, I will follow through. If not...oh well...there is Next Year.